1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,698
CATHY: Previously
on The Big C...
2
00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,971
How does your husband
feel? I haven't told him yet.
3
00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,300
Tell someone, Cathy.
4
00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:09,800
Hi, Cathy, it's
Dr. Mauer. Who's that?
5
00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:12,037
I've been meaning to talk
to you about something.
6
00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:14,774
This is what you mean by fun?
A little doctor fun on the side?
7
00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:16,782
Is that why I'm sleeping
on my sister's couch?
8
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:20,082
You dad isn't living here because I only
wanted to raise one kid and I chose you.
9
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,246
And from now on,
10
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,333
I'm gonna raise you so
hard your head's gonna spin.
11
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,656
I'll pay you 100 bucks
for every pound you lose.
12
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,303
You don't have
permits for this job.
13
00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:29,228
One of your neighbors
complained. Which one?
14
00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:30,488
You're a pain in the ass.
15
00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:32,384
Well, guess who's not
gonna swim in my pool.
16
00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:34,410
CATHY: I want to be the
one to spill the fruit punch.
17
00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:36,412
PAUL: But you're not the
spilling-the-fruit-punch type.
18
00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:38,632
I'm gonna burn my couch
in the back yard on Friday.
19
00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:40,283
You're starting to get
your weird back, sis.
20
00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:41,434
You have no idea.
21
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,682
CATHY: You're never
gonna pick them up, are you?
22
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:35,796
I've been asking you to hang up your
clothes since you could dress yourself
23
00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:37,626
but you never do.
24
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:41,168
So, eventually I pick
them up because it's easier,
25
00:01:42,402 --> 00:01:45,998
but now I feel guilty that
by allowing you to be a slob
26
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,631
has done you a disservice.
27
00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:49,141
I'm trying to sleep.
28
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:52,804
And what's worse, I've done
a disservice to your future wife.
29
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:54,541
What are you talking about?
30
00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:56,980
I'm a teacher who
can't teach my son
31
00:01:57,084 --> 00:02:01,715
the importance of basic
neatness and courtesy.
32
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:04,916
It's almost funny, isn't it?
33
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,218
Not really.
34
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:11,857
What? Mom, what are you doing?
35
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:16,763
What's that smell?
36
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:24,036
Mom!
37
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:25,838
What are you doing?
38
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:27,105
I'm burning the couch.
39
00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:30,915
I've always hated
it and now it's gone.
40
00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:34,351
Thank God I'm going to soccer
camp tomorrow, because you're crazy.
41
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:37,281
Do me a favor and
skip parent's weekend.
42
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,691
Hey, do you want to
track Uncle Sean down
43
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,729
with me later and
maybe we could...
44
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,064
I love you, Adam!
45
00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:47,434
What the hell are you burning?
46
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,797
I've got ashes floating
in my coffee cup
47
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,633
and my tongue
tastes like a Marlboro.
48
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:55,418
It'll be out in a
minute, Marlene.
49
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:59,470
You can't just burn a fire in a
residential neighborhood without a permit.
50
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,057
Why don't you call
the cops on me,
51
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,921
like you did when I tried
to make this my pool?
52
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:05,782
Now I get to wait 3
months for those permits.
53
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,717
Should be done by
Christmas though,
54
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:10,290
which will make my
pool more of an ice rink.
55
00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:11,864
Why don't you come
on by for a skate?
56
00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:14,321
You'd like me to break
my hip, wouldn't you?
57
00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:19,057
You wanna come in for some
coffee, Marlene? I'll make a fresh pot.
58
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,261
No.
59
00:03:22,302 --> 00:03:24,965
No, thank you, Cathy!
60
00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:34,080
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
61
00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:40,311
You gained two pounds, Andrea.
62
00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,923
Fuck that. I've been
starving myself all week.
63
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:44,252
Don't say "fuck".
64
00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:47,521
And don't starve yourself.
That always backfires.
65
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:49,994
So does binge eating.
66
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:51,941
But then at least that
way I get to fall asleep
67
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,093
with the taste of
frosting in my mouth.
68
00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:55,328
Do you do any exercise?
69
00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:56,696
All the time.
70
00:03:56,837 --> 00:04:00,968
I'm training for a triathlon right
now. These are my running shoes.
71
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:05,671
Well, research shows that you get
as much out of walking as jogging.
72
00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:08,043
By research, do you
mean Glamour Magazine?
73
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:09,479
'Cause I read that article, too.
74
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:11,117
Just walk.
75
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:16,154
Walk around the track, or up
and down the street or in place,
76
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,350
but just walk.
77
00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:20,660
For 100 bucks
a pound, I'll do it,
78
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:23,321
but I'm pretty sure another
bikini season will pass me by.
79
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,696
Bikinis are cruel
to almost everyone.
80
00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:29,499
I guess that's why Naked
Nancy lets it all hang out.
81
00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:31,871
Who's Naked Nancy?
82
00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:33,452
You never been to the roof?
83
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,261
(PANTING) Oh, yeah!
84
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:00,525
Mr. Adelman!
85
00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:03,397
Sorry. Put that away!
86
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:06,399
Yeah. Just checking the AC.
87
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,247
So what kind of time
frame are we talking about?
88
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,576
I couldn't say for
sure. Ballpark it.
89
00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:20,392
I need to plan my
clothing allowance.
90
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:23,227
Well, melanoma can be tricky.
It can take a lot of different paths.
91
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:24,717
But at least a year, right?
92
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,052
I would think.
93
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,222
Year and a half? Possible.
94
00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:29,554
Three to five?
95
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:32,224
We can hope.
96
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,566
You're sure they didn't come
up with a cure this week?
97
00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,204
You'd call me right
away if they did?
98
00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:39,896
Don't give that
job to a lazy nurse.
99
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,767
We've talked about the clinical
trials. We've discussed Interleukin-2.
100
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:46,812
But I just remember you saying
there's no really effective treatment.
101
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,072
Is that still true?
102
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:50,876
Sorry.
103
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:55,719
The silver lining is I'll be gone
before my wrinkles get too deep.
104
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:56,949
See you later, eye cream.
105
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,385
Let's open your
robe and take a look.
106
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:04,461
I know you mean that
clinically, but still, somehow,
107
00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:07,159
I feel like I'm cheating
on my husband.
108
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,667
He's actually never seen
me naked under fluorescents.
109
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,272
I don't think he's ever seen
me in direct light of any kind.
110
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,535
Well, I've seen
you inside and out,
111
00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:17,803
so there's no need
to feel uncomfortable.
112
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,641
I saw someone
sunbathing naked today.
113
00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:21,542
She was in her
backyard, but still.
114
00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:25,708
What if the gas guy walked
back there to check the meter
115
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,879
or some kid looked over
her fence looking for his ball?
116
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:30,333
I mean, that's
what I'd be thinking.
117
00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:32,077
Yeah, well, I hope she
was wearing sunscreen
118
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:35,026
because that's a lot of
sensitive skin exposed.
119
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:38,898
It's probably just
a body to you.
120
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,160
What do you mean? It's
part of your job, isn't it?
121
00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:44,702
Touching and staring
at peoples bodies.
122
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,958
I don't know. I like to think I still
have some healthy subjectivity.
123
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,470
What do you think? (CHUCKLES)
124
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:57,507
Compared to the thousands
you've seen. Come on.
125
00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,242
Don't make me do this.
126
00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:01,249
You can't hurt my feelings.
127
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:02,647
Bring it.
128
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:04,316
Cathy...
129
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:10,153
You're well above average.
130
00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:11,554
For my age.
131
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:13,833
No, for any age. Believe me.
132
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:18,769
Believe me. You know,
I've seen... And you have...
133
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,237
Well, you have an awesome rack.
134
00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:27,874
I have an awesome rack?
135
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,713
(LAUGHS)
136
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:36,117
You say "rack"? Really?
137
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,051
Why do I feel like that comment
could cost me my medical license?
138
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,025
Don't worry about it.
139
00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:42,805
With any luck, you
only have about
140
00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:44,263
18 months to
feel guilty about it.
141
00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:45,888
Lucky for you.
142
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:48,231
Not so lucky for me.
143
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:20,090
Cathy! It's Paul!
144
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,963
If you're in the middle
of affair sex right now,
145
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:26,471
could you please put your
clothes on so we can talk?
146
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,574
Sorry for yelling.
147
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,821
I didn't want to barge in on
you and your lover out of respect.
148
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,006
I'm big on respect.
149
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,226
Let's get a dictionary and
look that word up for you.
150
00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:36,816
I'm not having an affair, Paul.
151
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,961
That's what everybody who has
an affair says in the beginning.
152
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:41,477
Trust me. I wouldn't even
know how to get an affair started.
153
00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:43,021
Sure you would.
Same way you got me.
154
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,468
Just walk up to some guy and
tell him he has food in his teeth
155
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:46,926
and let the sparks fly.
156
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:52,296
So, who is this doctor then?
157
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:56,996
He's my dermatologist, Paul.
158
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,604
He just was checking in.
159
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:01,174
After he burned some
stuff off, I got a little woozy.
160
00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:04,806
Then we need some help
figuring this out 'cause I don't get it.
161
00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:06,751
I don't get why I'm not
living in my own house.
162
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,640
I don't get...
163
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:12,611
I don't get why I'm so
freaking thirsty all the time.
164
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:15,314
It must be the
adult-onset diabetes.
165
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,521
I can't get enough to drink.
166
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:21,551
That's why.
167
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:25,793
Huh?
168
00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:29,894
Whenever you get anything out of
the cabinet, you leave the door open.
169
00:09:30,036 --> 00:09:31,402
Every single time.
170
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:33,370
And me asking you to
shut them hasn't worked,
171
00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:36,533
and it doesn't seem fair to keep
getting angry or resenting you for it.
172
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,243
It's like Adam not
picking up his clothes.
173
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:41,472
And now all those
hours adding up to days
174
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,915
that I've spent closing cabinet
doors and picking up clothes,
175
00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:46,917
I now desperately want back.
176
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:48,482
So, that's why.
177
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:52,404
That's as clear
as I can make it.
178
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,353
We need therapy.
179
00:09:56,696 --> 00:10:01,225
You know Tony, that guy in
HR with the mail-order bride,
180
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:05,200
he recommends this therapist
who helped save his marriage.
181
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,604
Therapy doesn't sound
like a good time to me.
182
00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:09,709
Oh, come on, Cathy.
You owe me this, at least.
183
00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:13,176
Please.
184
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:17,708
Okay.
185
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,383
Thank you.
186
00:10:20,753 --> 00:10:23,086
So, do you want to
call or should I call?
187
00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:27,861
I'll call. Let me call.
188
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,591
SEAN: It's hot today, isn't it?
189
00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:36,760
It's actually 3 degrees hotter today in
Minneapolis, than it was one year ago.
190
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:40,635
Do you know why?
Global warming, baby!
191
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,109
And if you buy one
of these gas guzzlers,
192
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,872
you're just part of the problem.
193
00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:51,407
Nice weapon of mass
destruction you're driving.
194
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:55,319
Put on some clothes. You're
not as hot as you think you are.
195
00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:58,087
Twat did you say?
I cunt hear you.
196
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:01,885
Adam's cleaning out his closets.
197
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,405
He's probably going
to be 2 inches taller
198
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:05,660
by the time he gets
back from camp. Here.
199
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,128
You want any of these?
200
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,763
Too young. Too ugly.
201
00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:17,743
Made in a sweatshop by
Taiwanese infants. Nice going, sis.
202
00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:21,075
These could work.
203
00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:23,179
Oh, my God.
204
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:27,446
I saw my brother's penis.
Somebody shoot me in the eye.
205
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:30,149
God, nobody
noticed. Nobody cares.
206
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:33,021
But they could have. There
are like 100 people here.
207
00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:35,924
People don't care that much
about other people in general.
208
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,931
If they did, they wouldn't be
destroying the world we all live in.
209
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:40,959
Andrea!
210
00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:46,130
What are you doing?
211
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,465
I'm walking.
212
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:48,933
And eating chips.
213
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,471
I walked all the way from
home and I got hungry.
214
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:52,858
You told me not
to starve myself.
215
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:54,670
Hi, I'm Sean.
216
00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:58,049
While I generally like
your look, you are sadly
217
00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:00,676
the product of a rich and
gluttonous society. (MOUTHING)
218
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,652
Our excess is killing you.
219
00:12:02,922 --> 00:12:04,390
Buzz off, Jesus.
220
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:06,119
He a friend of yours?
221
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,491
This is totally non-nutritive.
222
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:11,622
You need to eat something that
your body knows how to burn off,
223
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,792
like a fruit or a vegetable.
Here, give me this.
224
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:16,062
No way. I paid for these.
225
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,042
I'll give you 10 bucks
to throw them away.
226
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:19,465
Fine.
227
00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:22,670
If you're going to throw
them away, I'll take them.
228
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:26,205
Hey, how come I can't
eat them but he can?
229
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:27,507
I don't care about him.
230
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,412
And I only eat trash.
231
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:30,983
So do you just drive around town
232
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,485
commenting on random
people's food or what?
233
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:37,523
She'll never tell you this, but
I'm her brother. Her secret shame.
234
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:38,819
The itch she can't scratch.
235
00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:42,427
Shut your face up!
Jesus is your brother?
236
00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:43,825
That's awesome.
237
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,900
I'm fat, and you've got
a brother that eats trash.
238
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,029
Yeah, everybody's got something.
239
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,075
What are you doing?
240
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:36,843
(SCOFFS)
241
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,148
You're just like your dad.
242
00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:42,949
What? Does that mean you're going
to kick me out of the house then, too?
243
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:46,752
You're not going to
soccer camp this summer.
244
00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:49,290
Wait. What?
245
00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:52,962
No, I'm sorry. It's too
long for you to be away,
246
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:55,262
and there are too many
things we need to do.
247
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:58,770
Mom, it's six weeks. It's not
that long. Are you kidding me?
248
00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:00,772
I have a very short
window to work with,
249
00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:02,839
if that window
hasn't shut already.
250
00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:04,341
But we'll do fun things, too.
251
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:08,376
You already signed the
papers. Dad wants me to go.
252
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:13,985
I know, I changed my
mind. I'll talk to your dad.
253
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:18,450
No, I'll talk to him! He agrees
with me about how nuts you are.
254
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:21,892
Mom, I'm sick of you.
You ruin everything. Jeez.
255
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:28,199
Our son is a wreck. She won't
let him go to camp all of a sudden.
256
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:31,236
And I'm a mess, and
the worst part of it is,
257
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,967
somewhere deep down, I always
knew she was gonna leave me,
258
00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:37,473
and it's like I'm watching
my worst fear come true,
259
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,842
and there's nothing
I can do to stop it.
260
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,310
It's like on our wedding day.
261
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,384
I couldn't believe
how lucky I was
262
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,595
that someone like her wanted
to be with someone like me
263
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:49,885
'cause she's a
10 and I'm like a 4,
264
00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:51,991
4 to 6, depending on the day.
265
00:14:52,091 --> 00:14:55,220
And what really
makes it sting is that
266
00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:58,024
I haven't felt good about
my body for some time now.
267
00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:59,608
And I've been thinking
of going to a doctor,
268
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:01,658
see if I have a thyroid problem,
269
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:03,498
or maybe I have to
get back to the gym.
270
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:05,037
You made me cancel
my gym membership
271
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,382
'cause you said I
wasn't going enough,
272
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:07,950
but I wasn't going
because I hurt my knee.
273
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:09,551
And then my knee
got better, I couldn't go
274
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,009
because I wasn't a
member any more.
275
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:13,710
But at least we got that extra 40
bucks in our pocket every month.
276
00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:18,447
What are you
thinking about, Cathy?
277
00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:21,577
I'm thinking
278
00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:24,683
how much Adam
used to love playing
279
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:27,260
hide and seek with
me when he was little.
280
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,960
And I'm simultaneously thinking
281
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,362
I'd really like a
vanilla latte right now.
282
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,904
Do you think those
two things are related?
283
00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:42,207
Probably not.
284
00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:59,389
(VIDEO GAME SOUNDS)
285
00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:02,920
We're gonna have
fun this summer, Adam.
286
00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:04,429
Maybe you are.
287
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:07,329
We are. Without soccer camp.
288
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,064
Paintball.
289
00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:17,275
What?
290
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,087
Well, I know how
much you like playing it,
291
00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:20,579
so I thought we
could do it together.
292
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,291
And you can take out
some aggression on me
293
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:25,149
and maybe you'll realize your old
mom isn't such a drag all the time.
294
00:16:28,387 --> 00:16:29,480
Paintball.
295
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,958
I like playing paintball
with my friends.
296
00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:33,492
I'd rather shoot
myself in the head
297
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:36,362
than run around the
yard playing with my mom.
298
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,669
Marlene?
299
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:53,912
Marlene?
300
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:38,519
What the... (EXCLAIMS)
301
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,388
Are you kidding me?
302
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:42,052
I am so, so sorry, Marlene.
303
00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:43,424
Get out of here!
304
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,795
I tell you my name and
now you're touching my face.
305
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,196
I brought you a latte.
306
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:51,032
And you're trying to scald
me with it? Then what?
307
00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:53,436
Burn my couch with me on it? No.
308
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,599
Do me a favor and
forget my name!
309
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,135
I was just trying
to be neighborly.
310
00:17:57,343 --> 00:18:01,804
"Get out" doesn't
mean run your mouth!
311
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,610
Stainless steel, you are kind.
312
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:25,493
Cathy! I know you're here.
313
00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:28,359
'Cause your car
is in the driveway
314
00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:30,661
and the smell of
cruelty is in the air.
315
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,040
Cathy?
316
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:37,942
Don't you knock?
317
00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:41,604
On my own door? No.
I'm not gonna do that.
318
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,546
Sorry if I'm not
who you expected.
319
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,044
I wasn't expecting anyone.
320
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:48,621
What are you doing, honey?
321
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:52,622
You're laying naked in broad
daylight in the middle of our yard.
322
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:54,590
I mean, I like it,
don't get me wrong.
323
00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:58,023
You remember when we were
on our honeymoon in France
324
00:19:58,130 --> 00:19:59,530
and we went to
that topless beach
325
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:04,630
and there were women of all
sizes and ages with their tops off
326
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:08,866
and I couldn't do it
because I felt so ugly,
327
00:20:09,275 --> 00:20:12,040
like I had to lose five pounds
and my boobs were sagging?
328
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:14,579
I've been looking at old
photographs and, you know what,
329
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:18,280
I was pretty cute back
then but I couldn't feel it.
330
00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:22,817
And this is my fault? Because I
told you to go topless in France.
331
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,282
No. I did.
332
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:26,153
No, you didn't.
333
00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:29,729
You said you were worried
about getting an erection.
334
00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:30,829
Speaking of which...
335
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,562
Well, what do you expect?
336
00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:37,727
I don't know.
337
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,567
You want to do
something about this?
338
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:43,571
(LAWN MOWER RUNNING)
339
00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:45,276
Maybe.
340
00:20:45,544 --> 00:20:46,568
Maybe?
341
00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:49,577
Yeah. I want to
do it in the grass.
342
00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:50,815
Really?
343
00:20:52,718 --> 00:20:54,152
You want me to
do you in the ass?
344
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:56,117
No!
345
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,248
Grass!
346
00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:00,858
I said grass.
347
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:02,484
I'm sorry. Really, Paul?
348
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:05,325
I... I... Wait...
349
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:07,166
Oh, come on, that's it?
350
00:21:07,299 --> 00:21:08,510
Look, I have to go get dressed.
351
00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:09,711
I have to pick up
Adam at Brent's.
352
00:21:09,735 --> 00:21:11,455
Well, he's not there.
I just dropped him off
353
00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:13,029
at school to get on
the bus for camp.
354
00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:14,435
He said you changed your mind.
355
00:21:14,540 --> 00:21:16,566
And you didn't think
to check with me?
356
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:18,507
Let him go, Cathy.
357
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,307
We can use this time
to work on ourselves.
358
00:21:20,412 --> 00:21:22,381
I came here to tell
you that our therapist
359
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,541
had some great things
to say after you left,
360
00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:26,083
and I'm gonna
keep on seeing her,
361
00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:27,584
and I'm gonna fix our marriage,
362
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:28,920
even if I have to do it alone.
363
00:21:29,188 --> 00:21:32,420
I need the summer, Paul.
Just give me that, please.
364
00:21:44,203 --> 00:21:45,899
(HONKING HORN)
365
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,436
Andrea!
366
00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:51,776
What are you doing?
367
00:21:52,378 --> 00:21:53,402
I'm exercising.
368
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:54,773
Do you have your license?
369
00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:56,075
Yeah, but my picture sucks.
370
00:21:56,215 --> 00:21:58,081
I don't care. Get
in. You're driving.
371
00:21:58,584 --> 00:21:59,608
Really?
372
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:05,924
Why the fuck did you do that?
373
00:22:06,058 --> 00:22:07,720
Because I like you, Andrea.
374
00:22:15,901 --> 00:22:17,870
Holy shit, Mrs.
Jamison! Get down!
375
00:22:19,138 --> 00:22:22,905
What are you doing?
I can't drive that fast!
376
00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:32,812
W-T-F, Mrs. Jamison?
377
00:22:34,753 --> 00:22:36,415
(CHILDREN CHATTERING)
378
00:22:37,590 --> 00:22:38,819
Mrs. Jamison, what are you...
379
00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:40,620
I have to get my son.
380
00:22:43,596 --> 00:22:44,596
Get off.
381
00:22:45,130 --> 00:22:48,589
No, I'm not going to spend the
entire summer with my lunatic mother.
382
00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:51,233
Stop saying things like that.
383
00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:54,469
I'm not crazy because I want to
spend time with you this summer.
384
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:56,602
I just miss you.
385
00:22:57,009 --> 00:22:58,409
I miss you so much.
386
00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:00,779
Mom, I haven't
been gone an hour.
387
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,611
When you were born
everyone said to me,
388
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:05,427
"Don't let your baby
sleep in the bed with you.
389
00:23:05,451 --> 00:23:08,285
"You'll never get him
out." But I couldn't help it.
390
00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:12,449
I pulled you in to
me, and I put my face
391
00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:14,322
really close to your little face
392
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:18,294
so I could feel you breathing into
my mouth and I knew you were safe.
393
00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:20,127
Just stop talking right now.
394
00:23:22,001 --> 00:23:24,334
Get off the bus, Adam. Please?
395
00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:25,761
No!
396
00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:29,301
Get off the bus.
397
00:23:30,342 --> 00:23:31,342
No!
398
00:23:31,477 --> 00:23:32,638
(KIDS LAUGHING)
399
00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:35,112
Get off the damn bus.
400
00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:38,851
Stop it! Jesus! Andrea!
401
00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:41,751
Who is this? You're big back-up?
402
00:23:42,054 --> 00:23:43,054
Shoot him again.
403
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:46,657
Fine!
404
00:23:47,126 --> 00:23:48,651
GIRL: Behave yourself, Adam.
405
00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:50,559
BOY: Say goodbye
to your mommy, Adam.
406
00:23:50,729 --> 00:23:51,729
Okay.
407
00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:53,926
Sorry.
408
00:23:54,867 --> 00:23:56,563
Sorry about this, everyone.
409
00:23:58,370 --> 00:24:00,202
Enjoy soccer camp.
410
00:24:01,307 --> 00:24:02,935
And don't bully anybody,
411
00:24:03,075 --> 00:24:06,671
and remember to hang up your
clothes when you take them off.
412
00:24:08,747 --> 00:24:10,238
I like you, bitch.
413
00:24:13,218 --> 00:24:15,050
(CHILDREN WHOOPING)
414
00:24:15,654 --> 00:24:17,020
Back off. Oh, shit.
415
00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:21,218
Adam? Adam?
416
00:24:22,561 --> 00:24:25,463
Even though you said that you
hate me, I know that you don't.
417
00:24:25,597 --> 00:24:27,409
And no matter how many
times you have to say it
418
00:24:27,433 --> 00:24:28,901
in order to get
your feelings out,
419
00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:31,698
I don't want you to look
back and hate yourself.
420
00:24:31,804 --> 00:24:32,964
Because I know it's not true.
421
00:24:33,739 --> 00:24:37,107
And even if it is now, I know
that it won't be eventually.
422
00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:48,954
So, I'm keeping him home.
423
00:24:49,088 --> 00:24:52,081
Good move. You're gonna
be real popular this summer.
424
00:24:52,624 --> 00:24:55,219
I have no idea who I'm
gonna be this summer.
425
00:24:56,662 --> 00:24:59,564
You have any more of Adam's
shirts with you? It's cold out here.
426
00:25:00,799 --> 00:25:02,324
It's at least eight
degrees colder
427
00:25:02,468 --> 00:25:04,096
than it was this time last year.
428
00:25:04,336 --> 00:25:05,827
Thanks everybody!
429
00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:15,504
Did any of your friends ever
think I was cute in high school?
430
00:25:17,282 --> 00:25:19,148
You heard me. You
know what I mean though.
431
00:25:19,284 --> 00:25:22,948
Did they ever say,
"Dude, your sister is hot"?
432
00:25:23,055 --> 00:25:24,990
Or "I'd like to tap
your sister's ass."
433
00:25:25,991 --> 00:25:28,961
Oh, my God. Such a dead
on impression of my friends.
434
00:25:29,061 --> 00:25:30,495
It really takes me back.
435
00:25:30,696 --> 00:25:32,130
Never mind.
436
00:25:32,231 --> 00:25:34,671
You're the only one who's
allowed to say what's on their mind.
437
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:35,700
That's fine.
438
00:25:36,668 --> 00:25:38,637
I did. You did what?
439
00:25:40,639 --> 00:25:41,800
I thought you were hot.
440
00:25:43,142 --> 00:25:44,142
You did?
441
00:25:44,576 --> 00:25:46,044
Yeah, I...
442
00:25:47,746 --> 00:25:50,147
I can't believe I'm
finally telling you this.
443
00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:53,981
Look, I know this is
going to sound sick to you
444
00:25:54,086 --> 00:25:56,646
but please try not to judge
for one second in your life.
445
00:25:59,525 --> 00:26:01,357
I used to imagine
you were my girlfriend.
446
00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:03,227
Really?
447
00:26:03,362 --> 00:26:04,739
I think that's why
we fought all the time
448
00:26:04,763 --> 00:26:08,700
because there was just so
much frustration on my part.
449
00:26:09,568 --> 00:26:12,060
And then I read The
Hotel New Hampshire
450
00:26:12,204 --> 00:26:13,866
and I felt such
a sense of relief
451
00:26:13,972 --> 00:26:17,170
because he writes about the sexual
tension between the brother and sister
452
00:26:17,276 --> 00:26:19,677
and I thought maybe
I wasn't totally nuts.
453
00:26:22,748 --> 00:26:23,748
Are you judging me?
454
00:26:23,882 --> 00:26:25,510
No. No.
455
00:26:25,617 --> 00:26:28,519
Then I have to tell
you something else.
456
00:26:29,288 --> 00:26:31,120
Physically, Cathy,
457
00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:32,590
you have been
458
00:26:34,259 --> 00:26:35,522
and will always be
459
00:26:35,961 --> 00:26:38,362
the grossest person on
Earth to me. (LAUGHS)
460
00:26:38,464 --> 00:26:41,366
You're such a jackass.
Shut up! (WHOOPING)
461
00:26:41,467 --> 00:26:44,027
Shut up! You are so
gullible that it is not even...
462
00:26:44,136 --> 00:26:46,435
Stop it, jackass.
463
00:26:46,738 --> 00:26:48,070
You're a jackass!
464
00:26:48,173 --> 00:26:51,109
"My name is Cathy and
my shit doesn't stink." Say it.
465
00:26:51,243 --> 00:26:52,871
It smells like roses!